There is no big secret to relationships, it just takes two people who are mature enough to find ways to work through their issues. The problems arise when one or both of the people in the relationship are unable to work out their issues in a constructive way.
What can you do to make your relationship better? Well, that depends on a lot of factors and since I don’t know you or know anything about your relationship, all I can do is offer you some generic ideas to improve your relationship.
Of course, if you’re not currently in a relationship use these points as a guide when you do meet someone. No one should try to hold out for someone who is perfect.. no one is perfect. But what you should do is to realize that there are some traits that you just will not tolerate in a partner. If you see some of those signs you should end the relationship and move on.
1. Do not tolerate dishonesty either in your current relationship or with someone you meet. There is no excuse for someone to lie. If you are with someone who lies to you all the time, or you meet someone and you find that they lie all the time you have to ask yourself why in the world would you consider starting or continuing a relationship with someone like that? It just does not make any sense.
2. Do you and your partner have difficulty talking over the issues that come up in your relationship? The longer the two of you are together the more difficulties you will face. If you are with someone who isn’t going to have your back, I have to ask again: why would you stay with them? It just does not make any sense.
3. Do you know how to let your partner know how you are feeling in a good way (which means you don’t scream, cry or act like you’re 12)? If not take some time to learn how. Does your partner know how to express their feelings in a good way? If not, do you think they would be willing to learn? If they aren’t, you may want to move on because things will never get easier.
4. Do you and your partner have good problem solving skills? Knowing how to deal with problems is a great skill to have in all aspects of life, not just relationships. If you are a good problem solver but your partner is not, it will only cause friction since you will have to carry much more of the load. This skill can be taught so if either of you aren’t good at problem solving you may be able to get some help… if you’re both willing to invest the time.
It frustrates me so much when I hear my friends talk about the issues in their relationships. They want to know what the secret to relationships is but when you try to point out that the guy they are with isn’t a nice guy and that maybe they should move on, they ignore you or get mad. Find the ‘right one’ and not the one that’s ‘right here’. Your life together will be much happier and easier.
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